Sunday, 18 December 2011

looking back/looking forward

old pics tom 027

I suppose that people read blogs to be inspired by lovely things, so if that is the case do not read on.

I am very lucky. I live in a lovely place, we are all healthy, I have a very faithful old dog, I have a lovely lifestyle (on a budget), I have people around me that love me, I am free to come and go as I please. So why is it at this time of year I do not enjoy the festivities? About two weeks ago I had had enough, I want it all to be over and the New Year to be here.

Perhaps I shouldn’t think of people that are no longer here, my Grampy & Gran (with my Mum), are mentioned by us probably each day, Trixie has been gone for 18 years, I was expecting “our Tommy” as she called him, but she never got to see him, in fact I am now crying as I write this. My Grampy, who I spent a lot of time with as a child, going to Steam Fairs, farm sales, car auctions…..He did get to meet Tom and loved him dearly, an only great grandson of an only granddaughter of an only daughter.

Don’t misunderstand me, I have found a partner who has changed me and finally I am happy and content, we are a very small family and very close and none of us are lonely, I love being me.

So as soon as boxing day comes and I take Tom off to the wilds of North Wales, the new me starts. Some of my inspiration has come from Tom, he has turned his troubles around and is on the last leg at college and is a very confident young man now with dreams and aspirations. My Mum doesn’t interfere but gives me good advice when she can see that I am flailing, and Michael stands by me and encourages me, and inspires confidence in me.

After dropping Tom off, Michael, Flo and myself will carry onto the coast, probably Aberdovey for a lovely walk and then home ready for the next day as I am stripping out my unit at The Old Pill Factory.  I am hoping to do more fairs next year having plucked up the courage to start networking with people.

Thank you to my family past & present

A new year, new look, new attitude!


  1. well I don't think there's anything odd about what you've written- its called being human!
    Accept it and embrace it xx

  2. It takes courage to change, Tracey. I can't wait for Christmas to be over and get to a New year either. Fingers crossed it'll be better than this one!

  3. I have been writing uninspiring and sad blogs recently. I adore Christmas and look forward to it greatly however, this year all of the shine has gone. My grandmother was cremated on Wednesday and will shortly be joining her husband and both my parents in the village churchyard. I have a distant relationship with my 2 remaining uncles and only have a relationship with one of my siblings, the rest for various reasons do not want anything to do with me. I have a partner and 2 grown up children one of whom lives with us still, we also have a young adult whom we are supporting who lives with us. I love my partner and children but at times I feel so lost, when I look behind me there is no one. it can feel quite lonely. I to need to let go and move on, I need to change things in our life, so please embrace the change. A new year and a new start.

  4. Chin up and look forward. This madness will soon be over, it happens that way every year.

  5. It doesn't help that, nowadays, Christmas starts so early and by the time the day arrives it can be a bit of an anti climax!
    I hope that you do have a lovely Christmas, whatever you do...and an even better new year! You certainly have the most wonderful family and they are very lucky to have you! ;-) xxx

  6. Hi Tracey,
    I hope that you will enjoy Christmas for what it is and it will bring you and your small family together for some chill-out time, if nothing else. It is a difficult time of year for many and not enjoyed by everyone...I do believe many wait for it to be over, in order to have a clean slate to restart a New Year of hopes and dreams. I hope that 2012 will be your year and you will find what you are looking for. I also hope to find myself alongside you at some of the fairs...they can definitely be the way to go with time spent with like-minded people and inspiring, creative types, with hopefully a few pennies earned too!
    If your comment about 'stripping out' your unit at the Pill Factory means you are leaving it completely, then I can see how decisive decisions are already changing your future - I hope you find what you are looking for and will be happier than ever. (I'd just like to thank you very much for mentioning my shop on your blog's sidebar this year - I know, you know, how hard retail is, particularly at the present time - I appreciate your support, Tracey, thank you x)
    Take care,
    Niki x

  7. Hi Niki, sorry to mis-lead you, no I am not leaving The Old Pill Factory it has been wonderful for me, I am just going to give it a refreshed new look, I am really looking forward to the 27th of this month and being in the shop sorting and arranging. I will be putting even more time and effort into it this year as you do with more painted furniture which as we know takes time......
    Have a lovely time with your family at Christmas.
    Tracey xx

  8. I've just downloaded iStripper, and now I can watch the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.